Sometimes I think God gives us rainy Saturdays just so we can have a day to stay in and relax and cuddle up with a book or a movie. Except today was not our typical rainy Saturday.
The hubby had to go in to work today. He is "The Voice of the Marne" which translates into he is the narrator for a crap ton of various ceremonies. Typically they take place during the week and work hours, but today was the odd weekend one. He enjoys doing it, though, and this one was fun because it involved some kids sports teams getting recognized.
We had planned on going to the commissary after he got home, but then we quickly realized it was a military payday weekend, and that means that the commissary was going to be packed. And walmart, and probably Kroger too. We had discussed actually driving to a different town just to have a change of scenery and hopefully to avoid the throngs of people shopping in our small town. But then the rain hit.
I had this brilliant idea that I'd just go to Sav-a-lot and pick up the things we needed to get through the week. It's a great way to save money on groceries, and while the choices are limited, they usually have what we need and we can make do with substitutions when we need to. I donned my jacket that doubles as a rain coat and set out by myself. I figured it was silly for more than one person to get wet, so I went alone, which is a rarity.
I tend to go out with the girls in tow, or on occasion, just Nick and I. I didn't realize how accustomed I have become to not doing things alone. I know some people relish their alone time and love shopping without the family, and going out and doing things to have their own space. And everyone always tells me, "It's good to have some time alone" and "every mom needs some alone time" but to be honest, I actually prefer to have company. Lately, my "alone time" has come in the form of saying my rosary, or reading a book. I don't feel the need to get out and away from everyone in my house. Some people tell me that is not healthy, and I don't have an answer to that. If I feel content, is it still unhealthy?
Of course I have the times where I just want some peace and quiet, and maybe it is unhealthy that I don't know what to do with myself when I am alone, but I don't think it's that I've become dependent on my family, or that I am afraid to be alone with my own thoughts. I had times like those in the past, but I don't feel that way now. I think instead, I have just become content with my life the way it is, and I don't see a need to change that.
In any case, I actually found myself dreading the shopping. It wasn't the weather. I am a weirdo who loves the rain, and driving in it (as long as I can still see out of my windshield) is oddly comforting and relaxing. I hate shopping around here and maybe it's just that it's been so long since I've been shopping alone. I am also not one who finds comfort in shopping. I thought of going to the dollar store, but it wasn't right by the area I was heading, so I ditched that idea. Then I thought of walking around Big Lots so I could take a breather and try to get more comfortable alone, but I quickly decided to just stick to my original plan.
It was pretty empty in the store, just a few other shoppers, and it didn't take me long to get what I needed. By the time I checked out, it was pouring even harder and I got thoroughly soaked on the way out to the car. By the time I got home, I was drenched, and when the hubs came out of the door to help bring in groceries, I told him to just stay there and I'd bring the bags to the front steps. I walked in trailing water everywhere and my jeans were wet up to my knees.
I don't know why it was uncomfortable for me to shop alone, or if that's a bad sign, or anxiety rearing its head, not really sure, and while it was slightly annoying, I am not going to over-analyze it and instead I was just happy to get into some warm dry clothes and go back to my book.
No comments:
Post a Comment