Three Weeks In

It is hard to believe that we are already three weeks into Lent.  The time really is flying by quickly.  Last week Nick was off of school for spring break, so it was wonderful to have some uninterrupted family time with him, since his schedule is so hectic.  The older girls had a choral festival on Saturday, and Evy's birthday was Sunday, so that ended the week nicely.  

By now, I have gotten into a good groove and routine that does not include checking my facebook at random intervals in the day.  It has been really nice.  Hannah also gave up facebook, and both of us have been surprised at how much time we really were spending on there during the day.  I know people consider it a "time suck" but I didn't realize just how sucked in I had gotten.  When Lent is over, I am going to set a limit and stick to it, for both of us.

I am not a part of other social networking sites, so there are times I feel completely out of the loop.  There are some people I am thinking about who are friends on facebook and I don't have their contact information so I have no idea how they are doing.  I will admit that it has left me feeling a little out of touch.  I don't think it is healthy though, for me at least, to have a social networking site as my number one way of communication and socialization.  I won't go into an epic posting, but I think as a society in general, we are losing the art of communication and true relationships with each other.  I don't want that for my kids, so I should set a better example of it myself. 

Most of the people I am thinking about I am in contact with in other ways.  It has been nice and the contact feels more personal to me.  Rather than feeling isolated, I am enjoying the time I am spending focusing on what is in front of me, rather than what is on my computer or phone screen.  It has been good for me.  I feel like I am more present in the here and now.  I realize that makes me sound like I was a total facebook addict, which isn't true.  I probably spent a lot less time on facebook than the average person, however, it was too much time for me.  I tend to feel things deeply.  When a friend is upset or going through a hard time, I feel it so deeply for them.  When someone is upset over something, I get upset with them, when they are sad, I am sad.  I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing, it is the way God made me. It does become problematic when I read something that sticks with me and puts me in a mood for the rest of my day, and when it affects my daily life and how I interact with my family.  Facebook seems to be THE place for posts and articles which contain any number of emotionally rattling aspects.  I have seen things I wish I hadn't seen.  You can't un-see things.  Sometimes it is my fault because I click.  Sometimes a graphic picture is right there as I scroll down.  In any case, I am in a better place by not allowing myself to be bombarded with things that will affect me negatively.  It is also a place to get into heated discussions that I possibly wouldn't get into face to face with someone.  I love a good debate, but tone in typing is difficult to read, and it is too easy for people to walk away with hurt feelings.  I don't want to be a part of that.  By removing Facebook for this time in my life, I am removing a near occasion of sin for myself.  

All of this thinking has me wondering what I will do when Lent is over.  I'm not sure.  Facebook seems to be the way that most people feel comfortable keeping in touch.  Almost everyone I know has an account, and that is how a majority of people keep others up to date on important things in life.  By removing myself completely, I know I am missing out on some things.  I don't think I will delete my account.  I do know that will practice more self control regarding it.  I will probably cull down the number of people on my friends list.  If 40 days have gone by and we haven't thought about each other, then we probably aren't really friends.  I know that I need to probably cut down on the amount of information I put out there too.  

This has definitely been a very thoughtful time.

Be back later!

Just a quick post to say we are on spring break this week and I don't plan on stopping by here until next week.  See you later!

Same as it Ever Was or 1 Week In

There really isn't much to report on.  My life is trucking right along, pretty much as usual, but I am finding I have clearer focus throughout my days.  I am less distracted, more on task, and I am feeling in a word, comfortable.  This is a good thing.  Some people see comfortable as a bad thing, that it means you aren't doing enough, or that your life isn't exciting enough, or they equate comfort with stagnancy.  That isn't the sensation I am experiencing.  I have had a pretty tumultuous last year of my life, so the fact that everything is in a good groove, and I am in a good place is pretty wonderful to me.

I can't believe the first week has passed.  It went by quickly!  Even though my fingers still naturally start to type the Facebook web address when I am done checking my email (muscle memory?) I haven't missed it.  Well, I haven't missed the platform at all.  There are people I am thinking of, some who had sick kiddos, some who were pregnant, some who were sick themselves, or had sick or hurt spouses and I hope they are doing well.  Some I have called or sent texts or emails to.  I am curious about what is happening, but the big thing is that I don't feel like I am missing out on anything.  My focus is right where it should be, and if I am learning one thing, it is that I likely could use some more discipline in certain areas of my life. 

School for the girls and Nick is moving along at a fast clip.  Our days stay pretty busy and more of our weekends are planned than I prefer, but it is hard to turn down such wonderful opportunities for the whole family.  We have plenty of time and chances to socialize too, so no stone is left unturned.  The scary part is that there are things we sometimes turn down, but we just cannot do it all.  We are lucky to have opportunities to pick and choose from.  It does get hectic with 4 kids all in various activities, but such is the season of life and parenting we are in. 

So for now we fill in the days of our calendar, prepare many a pot luck dish, make sure no one's schedule is conflicting, and hang on for the ride and pray it isn't too bumpy! 

Eye Opener

So, as I wrote about in my last post, we went to St. Augustine this weekend for Nick to present his paper.   (I am going to write all about it in my other blog: http://aboveallcatholic.blogspot.com/ .  I will try to keep this posting pertinent to the subject.)  After a friend recommended a great hostel there, we decided to make it an overnighter.  It is hard to find one room to fit all six of us if we are being completely honest while making reservations. 

***  As a side note, I am a pretty staunch believer in rules.  I haven't always been this way, and I don't always make the best choices, but I am trying.  Anyway, for me, if there is a rule, and I blatantly break it to make it more convenient for me, I am not sending the correct message to my kids.  Even if a rule is stupid in my opinion and I disagree with it, I still try to follow it, because I am pretty sure my kids think that some of my rules are stupid and they don't agree with them, but I expect them to follow them, so I must set the same example.  This has cost me in the past, and I am sure it will in the future, but I always try to be aware of what my kids are seeing, and let's face it, kids watch everything, and especially now that all of my kids are capable readers, there is no pulling one over on them.  If they read a sign that says "maximum occupancy 4" on a hotel room, and we have 6 of us in there, they are going to ask why we are doing the wrong thing.  This is just my personal opinion and my personal choice.  I am in no way judging you if you book a hotel room for a family larger than the room occupancy.  We've done it before too.  To me, it comes down to lying.  If I feel the need to go to confession after I've made a choice, then it probably wasn't the best choice to make.  ***

Anyway, my friend recommended the Pirate Haus Inn. It is a hostel that has family rooms also that have a queen bed and two sets of bunk beds.  I will tell more about it in my other blog, but it is really fun.  It is completely pirate themed, complete with a captain in pirate garb, and a free all you can eat pirate pancake breakfast. 

So, we all went and stayed overnight.  We arrived, checked in and went to dinner.  We had quite a wait to eat, since it was difficult to find a place within walking distance of our hostel that was family friendly.  We passed tons of pubs and lounges and bar and grill places, but most were not places where children were allowed, or where I felt comfortable bringing them.  Also, there is the family size, which most places were packed being a Friday night in St. Augustine.  Also, we don't eat meat on Friday's so that limited our choices.  We ended up at a seafood place.  As we waited, everywhere I looked people were on their phones.  People were sitting at tables (we waited outside since there was no place to sit inside to wait) with their phones texting while having conversations with their dinner companions), people walked around on them, people ignored the people they were with to focus on them. 

After a text conversation with a friend and a family member on the way there, I had put my phone on silent and stuck it in my purse.  As I waited and watched, it struck me that if I was still using facebook, I would probably be one of those people.  While sitting and waiting, with nothing to do, I would have pulled it out and maybe checked into the restaurant so everyone could see where I was, and looked around paying attention to everyone but my family.  My usual gap in time while waiting would be to pull out my phone.  Instead, I engaged in a great session of people watching with my girls.  It was great. 

We finally ate dinner and I did pull out the phone for the camera to take a horrible "selfie" of Hannah and myself.  We both agree not to post it.  We ate outside and there was live entertainment and we really enjoyed the dinner.  Still, people around us were on their phones, and I realized maybe for the first time how much I have potentially missed by my actions in the past.

Anyway, this was a recurring theme I saw throughout the whole weekend.  I did have sound on to wait for Nick to call when he was done presenting so we could link up again, but that was it.  It was fabulous.  It was funny, when we were waiting another time to be seated, the girls were finding ways to occupy their time.  They were giving each other spelling words, or math problems to solve, or even sentences to diagram.  (Because my kids are weird like that, lol.) I wonder how many opportunities I have missed to interact with them while passing idle time because I had my face stuck in my phone.  "Face" book indeed. 

We did end up visiting two shrines and the Cathedral of St. Augustine, and I did get lots of pictures, but I will post them on my other blog than on here, so I can try to keep the content of both blogs where I intended.  I hope you all had a great weekend too!

Day 2

Super busy day today, so no time to really even miss facebook.  Girls are knee deep in quarter testing and that has taken up most of my day thus far.  So far so good.  I am so proud of all of them and their accomplishments. 

Also keeping us busy is our overnight trip tomorrow.  We haven't done much traveling this past year.  Well, I should say, we haven't done much traveling as a family.  I traveled to and from Buffalo over the summer when my mom passed away.  Nick has traveled to San Francisco and back.  Hannah was in D.C. this past February for the March for Life, and Nick was also in D.C. last month to present a paper. 

This Saturday, Nick is presenting another paper, this time in St. Augustine.  We decided to make it a family trip and stay overnight on Friday.  Since we haven't had a fun traveling trip in quite some time, the girls are overly excited.  The girls and I will wander around while Nick presents in the morning, and then, when he is done, we plan to visit a shrine that a friend told us about, the Shrine of Our Lady of La Leche.  I hadn't heard of it before, and I am so excited we found out before we leave.  So special to mothers everywhere! 

You can find out more about it here: Our Lady of La Leche

I likely won't be on here until next week, but I hope to come back with some pictures!

Day 1 - Back Where I Started

I know the internet and having a home computer is the norm these days. I reflect back on my life, and we got a computer and internet capability much later than most.  I think about those times, pre-computer, and while I can't imagine not having so much information readily available at my fingertips, I do miss the simpler times.  I didn't worry about if my kids were like their peers, I didn't worry about how I dressed compared with most women, I didn't know what the latest fads were, what the latest toys and gadgets were, etc.  It was simple.  Of course, I only had 2 children then, and neither one was school aged yet.  I am not sure if my yearning for simpler days has more to do with the pressure of social media and keeping up with everyone, or from having 4 children who all home school and are also involved in various activities.  I suspect it is a mixture of both, although I am sure the latter has a lot to do with it.  In any case, I hope to get more back to the basics.

I have reached for the laptop today and twice even typed in the facebook web address.  It was out of pure habit.  At least I only did that twice, which is way better than when I did this two years ago.  Mostly, I reached for the laptop to read a couple of Catholic blogs, to enter grades and do tests, and to look up some information for a school question.  It has been kind of nice. 

I have some things I hope to focus on during Lent in the time that I was wasting away.  First, I want to delve into some more spiritual reading.  I should be doing it daily.  It is important, and I have let it slide by the wayside.  My girls do much more spiritual reading than I do, and I am not being a good example.  This is one of those instances that we learn from our children, and where I need to take on their attitude of fervor at reading things that are uplifting to my faith.

I also have many craft projects that I hope to spend time working on.  I love doing work with my hands.  I love scrapping, sewing, embroidery, crocheting, you name it, and I probably love it.  I have various projects already started, as well as many more to start.  Seeing something I have put together or made with my own hands is very rewarding. It is also a more productive way to spend my time.  It is fun, and it also makes me feel good about myself.  I hope to spend some time in this area. 

Bringing it Back

Just a quick little post to say I am bringing it back.  I mean this in many ways.  I am bringing back this blog, for this year of Lent, as I am giving up Facebook again.  It has taken two whole years to feel this yearning, and I am happy for the Lenten season, because it gives me an inspiration to turn off the social media, whereas on my own, I'm not sure I would be motivated enough.  Sad but true. 

I am bringing it back to my family.  That is where my focus should remain, and I have been too easily distracted and while my family obviously hasn't suffered due to social media, I honestly think I could be doing a better job without it.  We are called to be the Church at home, and I am not living up to the example set to me by the Holy Family.

I am bringing it back to me.  I am too easily sucked into reading about others and comparing myself.  I know this is a rehash of the last time I did it, but here I find myself again.  Also, I am more than a sum of my facebook status updates, and I need the reminder for myself. 

I am bringing it back to my friends.  My real ones.  The ones who make an effort to stay in touch when I don't make it so convenient.  It is easy to stay in touch these days, with so many ways.  Even without facebook, it is still easy in this day and age of technology.  We have many methods, email, phone, text message, etc.  I am guilty of this myself.  I will quickly "talk" to people on facebook. I ask them about things, comment on their things, like their pictures, etc.  But outside of facebook?  Do I make the effort to tell them I am thinking about them?  Do I really take the time out of my day and my busy life to ask how they are, or keep up with their goings on?  The answer is no, I don't.  I fear it is this fact that keeps people at bay from other people.  To me, and this is just my opinion, and it may change in the future, facebook is causing my relationships outside of my family to become very impersonal.  I don't need to call and see how your family is when I can just look at your page when I am already on the computer looking at other peoples lives.  I don't need to invite you over when I am already up to date and feeling social satisfaction through the computer screen.  I can't tell you how many times I can remember an event or something that happened to a facebook friend, but I can't remember who it was.  That's not right.

How many people read my status updates and are friendly with me, but yet, if I am not on facebook, they don't even think of me enough to contact me?  That tells me that I am sharing with the wrong people.  The simple solution would be to unfriend everyone I don't interact with outside of facebook.  I am not sure I can do that, to be completely honest.  I have cut down my friends list in the past, and I have seen it creep back up.  I know I don't interact with 190 people on a regular basis.  I worry about hurting someone's feelings, missing out on something important, and let's face it, I am just as guilty of social voyeurism as most people.  I'm not sure what I will do about that in the long run.

So, for now, I am bringing it back.  I will post my blog posts to facebook (ironically, right?) because I have been requested by some to do so, and because I do have friends and family and maybe what I learn can help someone else.  I hope if you read, you will take the time out of your life to tell me you are thinking about me, and that you will provide me with the means to do the same to you, by giving me contact information.

I'll be back on Facebook after Easter.  Have a blessed Lenten season!