Fat Tuesday

I am setting this blog up to document my Lenten Journey.  The main thing I am giving up for Lent is social media, specifically in the form of Facebook. 

I am excited about this journey and it will be interesting to see how my life changes without the time suck that facebook has become in my life, and without the extra baggage that social media adds.  A friend suggested documenting my 40 days and I think it will be a perfect way to look back and see the path that my journey has taken.  This hiatus will force me to focus on what is in front me, and on the relationships I have that are true interaction with people, not just reading status updates.

I have noticed for myself that as my online social interaction goes up, my personal in life interaction goes down.  It is like the one substitutes for the other.  I don't really think that is a healthy thing, at least not for me.

I have been experiencing some depression and anxiety lately, and I will admit that there have been times that it has been crippling.  I have been feeling very small and insignificant.  Reading about 200 other peoples daily lives, lives that I am not truly a part of, well, that hasn't helped me any.  Realizing that I have a certain number of people on my "friends" list, and then counting how many of those people I actually have interaction with on a daily or even weekly basis, well, that has been eye opening.

I am hoping this experience will open my eyes.  I have people whose lives I influence on a daily basis right in front of me.  First and foremost, my husband and children.  Then there are friends I see on a weekly basis in person, and some I see on a monthly basis.  There are also those that I may not see for years, but who I keep in touch with and talk to on the phone on a regular basis.  There are people I see every week in my class, and people I see every week at church.  I am realizing I need to focus on what I have, rather than on what I don't have, and cultivate those friendships.

It will be interesting to see who I miss reading about.  It will be interesting to see who will miss me.  The best thing about this is that I am doing this for ME.  I started out ramping down, posting less, commenting less, as the day got closer. Then this last week, I have been checking facebook way more often than I used to, getting in that last little bit before I give it up completely.  Now the time is almost here and I am ready.

So, if you choose to follow my journey, I am glad to have you.  If not, if I am the only one reading this, I am alright with that too.  It's all about reflection.  At the end of this 40 day period, I will have had my First Holy Communion, and my Confirmation, and I will be a full member of the Catholic Church.  I know a lot of people don't agree with this choice I have made, and that's okay.  This is my story, and while I am happy to share it, it's all about me.  This is my journey.