Comparing

One thing that I do, that I have always done, and grapple with on an almost daily basis, is that I compare myself with other people.  Constantly.  Beauty, parenting abilities, talent, intelligence, weight, popularity...these are just some of the things that I compare.  The thing is, I always come up short.  Whoever I am comparing myself to, they are always much better off at whatever the thing is than I am.

I was talking to a friend this morning (something else I have more time and more inspiration to do now) and I was telling her this and she commented that I am much too hard on myself.  We talked about how I have been feeling happier with myself than I was, and how I am gaining comfort in my own skin (something I have been lacking for a good long time now) and just how in general, I am more content to be me. 

Something she said struck me.  "It's because you are no longer comparing yourself to 200 other people." 

Wow.  She is so incredibly right.  I am no longer reading about 200 other peoples days and deciding how those 200 people are way better than I am at pretty much everything.  I am not becoming socially inept.  Instead, I am having phone conversations, seeing people, conversing with people that I see every week at church but don't usually stop and talk to, and I am happy.  I am feeling something else I haven't felt in a long time, content.  I don't need to be more stylish, I don't need to be prettier, I don't need to have 45 people comment on my post about whatever, I don't need to be better at underwaterbasketweaving, etc. etc. to be happy.  I am happy being me, looking like me, having the friends that I have, and doing what I do.
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This next bit is regarding religion, so if you don't want to read it, stop here, that's fine.  If you want to read and think I am a whack job, feel free.  If you want to debate my belief system, it won't hurt my feelings.

The constant comparing, as I said, is something I struggle with.  It is also something I have been working on.  I had somewhat of an epiphany regarding this at the beginning of the year, and it is something I have tried to keep constant awareness of, but the no facebook has made it easier.

When I compare myself to someone else, and I come up short, what I am in essence saying is that God didn't do a good enough job when He made me the way I am.  Who am I to say that?  I  may never be the best <insert whatever here>, but I am the way God made me, with the gifts He gave me, and it is wrong of me, sinful actually, to act as if I know better than He who/what/how I should be.  That's not to say I don't need to work hard towards goals, or try to get better at something or practice, etc. but I need to be happy with who I am and get to like myself. This was made clear to me before now, but now I feel as if I am truly starting to understand how to put this theory into practice.